The Great Change: Turning Cathy into a Lawyer

I hate my roommate with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

She is one of the most myopic people I've ever met. Completely unaware (at best) or uncaring (very likely) about the impact she has on other people.

We discussed, all the roommates, that you can't leave food in the sink because there's no garbage disposal and it clogs the drain. Guess who keeps leaving plates with food on them in the sink. I provided for the apartment a pristine, practically new microwave and asked people to clean up their splatters before they caked on. No one did, so a few days ago I cleaned it. Guess whose bacon grease is now all over it again.

She doesn't clean the bathroom, ever, or at least not in a way that doesn't require someone else to come in and finish the job and even PUT THE SPONGE AWAY. Worse, if someone else cleans it, two days later the sink will be covered with dried globs of toothpaste and her hair. We discussed, all the roommates together, just a few days ago how we needed to "all" remember to clean up after ourselves so we wouldn't have to clean so much, and one of them (not her) did a good job deep cleaning. But, like clockwork, the hair and toothpaste came back two days later. So I went in and cleaned again. Guess what's back in the sink...

I have lost count of the number of nights when she has single-handedly destroyed any semblance of restful sleep. She has an alarm clock that crows. At 5 AM. Incessantly. Because she sleeps through it, so then if I want to avoid being driven utterly mad by its high-pitched shrieking, I have to get out of bed, march around the apartment to her door, and yell at her loudly and repeatedly (thereby waking the other roommates who somehow manage not to hear the crowing.) By which point I'm completely awake and unable to go back to sleep.

Of course, then there were the occasions where she decided to start HAMMERING at four o'clock in the morning. And the time that she called at five o'clock because she lost the keys so I had to let her in...

And this isn't even the worst of it, because the worst of it is that she smokes in the apartment. Despite having represented to me and the other roommates before I'd moved in that she doesn't smoke. Her room is pooly ventilated and the stench creeps in to the common areas of the apartment. And then creeps into my room. I can't get away, or at best I have to barricade myself in my room. It's disgusting, and she refuses to stop. She claims to make accomodations to be better ventilated, but the stench last night makes me think she's not even trying. She also says that she only smokes when she's writing papers, but tonight she was watching tv and talking on the phone and yet here I am breathing her second hand smoke in my bedroom. Clearly she lies too.

And so what if when she's stressed writing her papers she needs to smoke. Why should I have to endure it?

Finals are coming up and I have a lot to do. And a lot to deal with since it's time to start thinking about summer jobs and various other things that require attention. I can do it, I can handle the stress, but sometimes I need to be able to go home and relax. And I can't, because MY HOME is the single biggest source of stress for me. I can't count on a restful night's sleep and feeling fresh the next morning. I can't count on being able to even BREATHE in my own home. I go out to school every day and I love being there, but I never, ever get to come home to recharge and I desperately need to. I can feel my batteries running down and I'm plagued with panic because I have no idea if I will ever be able to get any relief. I'm running a marathon without any mileage markers or aid stations. And I'm scared because she may destroy my semester.

A few days ago we "talked" about it. And I tried to be flexible. She agreed to change alarm clocks, so now I get woken up by a different one. She apologized for being such a sound sleeper, but you know, I still have to deal with it. I'm *welcome* to come wake her up, but somehow this has become my job??? And it's my job to let her smoke out all her stress because, hey, she's so over-extended with her schooling and jobs... I mean, it's not like I've got anything important going on in my life.

My other two roommates are fine to deal with on their own but they are completely conflict-averse and refuse to do anything about the insipid roommate even though they are put out by some of her behavior. They tell me I have to deal with her directly. I don't know what to do. Talking doesn't help. None of her alleged "accomodations" help. She pays lip service to caring but her actions say otherwise. Not only do I have to deal with her impositions but the daily slap in the face from the disrespect they entail. I can't live like this, dealing with these things and in the brief moments of bliss when she's not around, walking around on pins and needles waiting for her to destroy the erstwhile calm.

Something has to give before it's my sanity.

Help.