The last post that lingered for a while was a complaint about my roommate. There are some who have told me that it's impolitic to refer to someone in a public forum with the words, "I hate..." and that's true. It's also not a very well-written post, but I'm hesitant to edit it heavily or remove it because I'm trying to document the process of law school and she's become a not-so-negligible part of the experience. If the aforementioned tantrum compromised style, in exchange it may have captured the sense of panic I felt at that moment (and at many, many moments before) from losing my home as a place of refuge, terrified about what the implications of that loss would be on my semester and future legal career.
I'm not sure what to do about the situation. Some of my friends have suggested various modes of revenge. Revenge is not my style though because I hate to descend away from my standards of civilized behavior. Much as I WANTED to throw her alarm clock out the window, I didn't. And I wouldn't. I also wouldn't harm her in any way, which I want to say equally publicly in case she should happen to suffer some horrible accident lest people think I'm somehow responsible. I would prefer to seethe, or find some catharsis in a more verbal way. Say, by posting on my blog or writing a song. If my friends want to contemplate machiavellian counter-attacks, though, that's ok too. One friend of mine consulted her sister, who suggested putting raisinettes in the shower. It's hard to immediately ascertain what they are, and it's very easy to presume they are something extremely disgusting. Unfortunately, Miss Myopia wouldn't notice and it would just antagonize the roommates I like.
One of these roommates actually cleans, and may be responsible for the fact that I'm not completely a melted-down puddle of stressed-out goo over this yet. Apparently she's cleaned up quite a bit of mess in the bathroom that I wasn't even aware of, including sprays of vomit. This, and a few other incidents, has led us to speculate that the problem roommate might be bulimic. She also may be an alcoholic, which we suspect given the large quantities of beer she consumes regularly. These things, if true, are lamentable, not detestable. In a sense, these realizations make me feel worse. I'd rather be able to hate her outright, not feel guilty that I'm taking issues with her vulnerabilities. On the other hand:
a) I'm not her nursemaid. She doesn't pay me to take care of her. I have no problem helping her or my other roommates out from time to time (I've helped her fix her computer and another one with her homework) but being friendly and helpful is not the same as bearing the full-on burden of her illnesses. I'm not qualified skill-wise to take these things on, nor am I compensated for it in any way that could mitigate the imposition it has on my already overstuffed schedule; and
b) Just because she may be at the mercy of these problems does not mean she's not also a jerk. When she says "OK, I won't smoke," and does it anyway, when she refuses to clean up the kitchen/bathroom/microwave after herself... these are aggressively antagonistic actions. They may stem from a troubled psyche, but she's clearly capable of conscious thought and choices and if she refuses to make respecting her roommates one of her choices then I think it's reasonable to resent her. I don't wish her any ill will, I don't want anything bad to happen to her and I'd hope that she get help for whatever may ail her. I just want her to stop messing up my home.
This weekend hasn't been too much of a problem, so far. I came back up from Thanksgiving yesterday and so far no one's home but me. I was also home last Wednesday. I'd had some errands to run in the morning and when I opened the door to go out there was a package in the hall. For me! This was confusing: I never heard it get delivered, and I hadn't ordered anything. It turned out it was a care package from the friend mentioned above. (A care package! Wow! Even my own parents didn't send me care packages during all those summers when I languished at sleepaway camp...) Turns out she sent me a gigantic container of chocolate covered raisins. But these are for dining purposes only – she wanted to make sure I was getting enough vegetables in my diet. “Remember, 5 a day!"