The Great Change: Turning Cathy into a Lawyer

I've sent off my note to be considered for publication. However, perhaps I should rethink this - it seems apparently they can come back to haunt you later on...

On the other hand, speaking of judicial opportunities, despite massive efforts of cutting, pasting, and collating, nothing seems to have come from my federal clerkship applications. Which is as frustrating as disappointing. The whole effort seemed to be very imprecise, overly demanding, and not an efficient use of energies. I had indeed contemplated postponing the whole thing, but couldn't bring myself to resist the 3L application tide. Part of me wishes that I had, since I sensed I didn't have the right resources to throw at it right now. But part of me was afraid if I don't get on the clerkship horse right after I graduate, I might never get on it. And it is something I would like to do.

So I may see about state opportunities, and apply if it's feasable to do from over here. Otherwise, though it's something I really would like to have done, I will need to recognize the limitations I faced and stop kicking myself for whatever imagined inadequacies might have affected my candidacy. I can only be who I am, and I can only do what I have the time and energy resources to do. Beating myself up won't change that reality, and even if I want to chastize myself for not making it a higher priority, the fact of the matter is that even if I had, something else important would have been dropped and I'd instead now be punishing myself for that.

There are two things that should perhaps be noted: one, though I applied to clerkships in three distinctive metropolitan areas, I only applied to those metropolitan areas. And they are popular metropolitan areas. However, they are areas that I am connected to and would be willing to live in again. At this stage of my life I am not willing to go see what living in another city would be like. I'm already doing that now, but my patience for packing up my life AGAIN and figure out yet another community is waning precipitously. Perhaps that self-imposed restriction reduced my opportunities too much, but that's how it is.

Also, apparently (though I haven't seen this in person to judge whether it wasn't really a mass-mailed letter) one of my rejection letters was a very complimentary missive from a judge who only hires career clerks, but said that I have a very impressive resume that she would keep on file.

See? I don't completely suck after all...

Edited 10/4.