Back when I was having problems with my horrible ex-roommate I called up a friend of mine in desperate near-hysterics. She calmed me down and then consulted with her sister for possible solutions to my problem. “Why don't you put something like raisinettes in the shower? No one will be able to tell what they are, and they'll presume the worst,” they proposed. Alas, this was not a good plan because I shared the bathroom with two other roommates who were decent enough not to antagonize, and, anyway, the evil roommate probably wouldn't have noticed. As it was we kept finding her own candy wrappers in the bathroom...
But I appreciated the suggestion, and then really appreciated the gesture she followed up with. One of my complaints about the evil ex-roommate was that her lack of cleanliness was making it impossible to cook in the kitchen, and as a result I was not getting enough fruit and vegetables in my diet. So my friend decided to solve my problem by sending me a gigantic vat of raisinettes, with a note reminding me to get “five a day.”
The raisinettes were lovely, but it was the thought that meant much more. In that awful, trying time that act of thoughtfulness itself was one of the things that helped me get through it.
Similarly meaningful was the graduation gift she sent me. She's been going through a lot lately in her own life, and all I want is for her to be well. The last thing I wanted or expected from her was a graduation gift. But when I talked to her on the phone she was insistent about getting me one. And apologetic. “I've got it all picked out. I'm so sorry you haven't gotten it yet!” And I tried to assure her that it was totally ok, I really didn't expect anything, please don't go to any trouble, etc. It's always awkward to get gifts anyway, right? It'll probably be something totally nice but totally unneeded, and then you'll feel guilty that they went to the effort and expense...
But the gift that finally arrived was one of the most thoughtful things I've ever received. It was a crystal candy dish, engraved with my name, with a note that in my new job as a lawyer I should always keep it on my desk and filled. To get me started on that she also enclosed a package of raisinettes.
Meanwhile, as graduation neared another friend of mine started cheering me on, telling me how proud she was of my accomplishment. It should be noted here that these are non-lawyer friends. I neither know them from law school, nor were they already lawyers. They just happen to be friends who've come into my life through the course of it from other contexts. Anyway, this other friend has just gone back to school herself, and this spring we exchanged mutually-encouraging correspondence to get through our respective final exams. At some point she mentioned to me that she was now addicted to M&Ms because she'd been using them to bribe herself to study. “Well,” I said, thinking to myself about the above story, “You'll just have to switch to raisinettes!”
Eventually our exams all ended, but then my bar exam loomed. “Should I send you some raisinettes?” she seemingly jokingly offered. I don't think I've even responded to the email, caught as it was in my whirlwind. But in this case silence was apparently interpreted as acceptance, because in the mail today she sent me eight boxes of them!
Of course it's not the raisinettes themselves that's so touching. It's the thought, the gesture, and the steadfast enthusiasm she offered with it. When I've started to feel doubt, she's been a cheerleader to help me get through it. Both of them have been. Both of them tell me how proud they are of me, both of them remind me of what a big deal this all is... Which is so easy for me to forget as I get mired in it.
In any case, I am now well-stocked with raisinettes. Guess what will be my snack when I take the bar exam... It won't just be their chocolate that will help get me through it though; it will be the encouragement and support they represent that does.