The Great Change: Turning Cathy into a Lawyer

So I mentioned a few weeks back that I was going to a wedding. Two of these three people got married:

Poor Huey, I'd kind of blindsided with the camera. But it was very nice for him to have agreed to the picture and let me introduce him to my friends. Some people bring their friends home to meet their parents, I bring my friends to meet Huey Lewis... (Well, to be fair, we've all met each others' families too.)

Unfortunately Huey himself failed to attend said wedding, which I was suppose was due in some small part to him having absolutely no idea it was taking place. In his absence, however, I nobly led my table in an a capella-cum-rhythmic rendition of highlights from the HLN song "Stuck with You," which, believe it or not, was actually contextually appropriate...

I realize that my blog lately has become "all Huey Lewis, all the time." Some of that is a creature of timing, as I did recently see a bunch of concerts. Some of that is because, while I get back on the blogging wagon, it's easiest to write about what I already know. The legal posts always require at least some research, even if it's just wrangling up links to other sites so I can confirm that my assertions at least have some basis in reality. Law school has drilled into me that sort of diligence, but unfortunately it comes with a lot of overhead to not "post first and ask questions later." I suppose it will make me more credible as a blogger in the long run, but unfortunately in the short run it also makes me more slow...

And some of this recent HLN topicality is because of how they've ended up being my bellwether throughout this whole great change thing and provided me some with the best opportunities to take measure of where I am with it. It's become clear that my ability to enjoy their concerts and company has hinged on my state of mind at the time. Which is of note now because the last several events provided the first occasions I'd had to see, reflected back to me, how markedly I've changed even just recently.

I'm not entirely sure how to characterize what's different. I'm not even entirely sure I can characterize it as wholly good, although clearly it is good in many ways. I suppose it can be described as a new confidence, which, of course, is most welcome. But I fear that it also includes something of a hardening, and this concerns me. I'm always happy to shed insecurity, but I worry I may have inadvertently also shed, I don't know how describe it, perhaps a kind of sensitivity? I worry because I don't want to lose what I think was good about me in the quest to become better. But I don't really think it was in becoming more confident that I may have become more hardened, if that is the word. What I do think is that this hardening may have actually been a by-product of becoming a lawyer altogether, and I'm not quite sure what to do about that.

Except perhaps to postpone worrying about it for another day, because with this new confidence comes recognition of new capabilities and potential, and that is fun. Returning to the wedding mentioned above, it was wonderful to get to share in Mike and Rosa's special day, but it was also special to be there because it turned out to be a reunion of sorts of our circle of friends from law school. As we wished one of our own well as he moved on in his life (married!) it became clear that, one year out of law school, all of us were moving on. Or "growing-up," as one friend noted. Marriages, careers... We're all working now, with at least one successful bar exam under all our belts. We've all come such a long way since the first year of law school when we first met, and it's clear we're all well on our way to what's next.